as february 20th gets closer and closer i get a little more nervous everyday. its a good kind of nervous though, more like excited.

most of the hard things are done, my mom basically planned everything, and im so thankful for that because thats definatly not my thing. she loves this kind of thing, im sure she would love to quit her job and just be a wedding planner. with her doing all the work it has given me a little piece of mind because i know everything will be perfect. she gives me and ry a list of things to do each week and we try to help her the best we can. secretly we would just have rather taken the money spent and eloped though. my grandma and grandpa eloped and even though she "doesnt like to tell everyone" she loves to tell it. i think it would have been so fun and spontaneous but i couldn't be happier with how things are going. and i cant wait for the next 29 days to be over thats for sure.

being engaged is really actually quite hard, ive had people tell me that and i can honestly say it has been the hardest part of our relationship. we have learned a lot about each other and us during this time. we never argued before we got engaged but now we have stupid little arguments about the dumbest things. i also have this uncontrollable problem called worrying, when im pms-ing or when im under stress i tend to take little things and make them a lot bigger than they need to be. sometimes i even have little break downs. i already knew this but i have learned something about ryan during stressful times. he always knows when something is wrong, and he always knows how to make me feel better. he just hugs me and tells me how everything is going to be alright and gives me reasons why we will always be happy. it it one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that i have a best friend who will always be there for me.

besides my mom and ryan i have so many people to be thankful for in this planning process.
*my grandma lola because she is going to do all my flowers exactly how i want them :)
*my grandma latrese because she is teaching me how to be a good cook: bread, chicken noodle soup and in the summer hopefully she will be able to teach me how to can :)
* my cousin heidi, she took all our photos and has made everything so stress-less, i am glad i dont have to worry about our invitations and photos they will be perfect!
*my future sis rach, she is making our cake and this is no small task, she has spent hours and hours doing practice cakes :)
*ryans uncle is printing our invitations and also printing most of the addresses directly on the envelops, also saving lots of time and stress!
*ry's mom cuz she always just loves to talk to me and help with everything :) i couldnt ask for a better 2nd family!!

i know im forgetting people :( im sorry but im thankful for everyone :)

im mostly nervous about becoming a wifey. im not a terribly great cook, probably because my mother is a bomb cook and i never really had to growing up. so ive been practicing a lot lately, hopefully we dont starve. i feel good about my cleaning skills though because i actually had to clean growing up and it will be fun to have a home of my own to keep clean. also laundry will be a piece of cake :) so anyone feel free to give me some recipes or tips im very open to suggestions!!

:) only 29 days left hopefully i make it! :)